she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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