Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize