Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
