hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
