Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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