No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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