Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
