U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
kristin has been a bad kristin
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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