Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
