did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
