I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
