just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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