I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
