I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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