yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
