I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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