it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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