White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
