Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
