I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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