i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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