talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I cut my penus on the lid.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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