When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
