Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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