I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
