I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
