Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
