it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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