someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
