I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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