i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
