Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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