Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
