Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize