I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
