You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
