Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
