I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
