Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
