I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
