I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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