check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize