covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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