if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm getting married
To pizza
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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