his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize