How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My liver just broke up with me...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
