home. puking in laundry basket.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
