that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
