I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I did not marry a roomba.
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