does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
