SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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