my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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