My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
