i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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