I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
