I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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