On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
