it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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