U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
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