i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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